Who’s Taking Care of Mom? Inside America’s Hidden Caregiving Crisis

Behind closed doors, in apartments and houses all across this country, something is happening that most people never talk about.

A daughter is waking up at 2 a.m. to help her mother get to the bathroom. A son is skipping his lunch break to call and check that his dad remembered to take his medication. A middle-aged woman is doing her own job from home while simultaneously managing doctor’s appointments, grocery runs, and the slow, quiet grief of watching a parent she loves become someone who needs her in ways she never imagined.

This is family caregiving in America. And it is a quiet crisis.

The Numbers Are Staggering

According to a report published by AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving, more than 50 million Americans are currently providing unpaid care to an adult family member or friend. That number has risen significantly in just the past few years — up from 41 million in 2020.

The average family caregiver is 52 years old. Many are also raising their own children. Many are also working full-time jobs. One in five working Americans is now juggling employment and caregiving at the same time.

The economic value of all this unpaid labor? Economists estimate it at more than $873 billion every year — nearly twice what the country spends on nursing homes and paid home care combined. This invisible workforce is holding the entire eldercare system together, mostly without recognition, without compensation, and without a break.

Most Are Doing It Alone

More than 40 percent of family caregivers are the only person providing care for their loved one. No one else in the family steps in. No professional comes to help. It’s just them — day after day, week after week, sometimes for years.

Over half of caregivers surveyed have been at it for at least three years. Nearly one in four is caring for more than one person at the same time. And despite the enormous demands of the role, almost half of caregivers receive no outside support at all — no counseling, no respite care, no financial assistance, nothing.

“What if this goes on for another 10 years?” one caregiver told the New York Times. “How long am I going to be able to maintain this?”

It’s a question millions of people are quietly asking themselves right now.

The Toll It Takes

Caregiving, when done without support, does real damage — and the research on this is not subtle.

Between 40 and 70 percent of family caregivers show clinically significant symptoms of depression. About one in ten caregivers says their physical health has gotten worse because of caregiving. Women — who carry a disproportionate share of caregiving responsibilities — report higher levels of anxiety, depression, and lower overall wellbeing than their male counterparts. Studies have found that caregivers are 63 percent more likely to die from mental or emotional strain than non-caregivers.

And then there’s the financial damage. The average family caregiver spends about $7,200 out of pocket per year on caregiving-related expenses — housing, medical costs, transportation, supplies. On average, caregivers spend 26 percent of their income supporting the person they care for. Seventy-one percent of caregivers report financial strain. Of those, nearly two-thirds are living paycheck to paycheck.

Some give up retirement contributions to make ends meet, with studies estimating that caregivers face up to a 90 percent reduction in retirement savings compared to non-caregivers. They are sacrificing their own futures to protect someone else’s present.

Why Is This Happening?

America’s population is aging quickly. Every single day, roughly 10,000 Baby Boomers turn 65. By 2034, adults over 65 are projected to outnumber children in this country for the first time in history. And the vast majority of older adults — 88 percent — say they want to stay in their own homes as long as possible.

The healthcare system was never built to handle this. Nursing homes are expensive and often not what people want. Medicaid, which helps pay for home and community-based services, varies wildly by state and has long waiting lists. Federal cuts to these programs are making things worse, not better. And a nationwide shortage of professional home health workers means there simply aren’t enough trained people to meet the demand — leaving families to fill the gap on their own.

Most family caregivers step into this role without any training, any preparation, or any idea how consuming it will become. They do it out of love. And then they find themselves overwhelmed, exhausted, and unsure of where to turn.

What Family Caregivers Actually Need

There are things that genuinely help — and being honest about what they are matters.

Respite care — short-term breaks where a professional comes in to cover for the family caregiver — is one of the most effective tools available. It doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated. Even a few hours a week can make a meaningful difference in a caregiver’s mental health and ability to sustain the role.

Area Agencies on Aging (AAAs) are local organizations in every state that connect families to services — including information on respite care, home-delivered meals, transportation, and financial assistance programs. Most people have never heard of them, but they are a real and often free resource worth knowing about.

Medicaid’s Home and Community-Based Services (HCBS) programs can sometimes pay for professional in-home care — and in some states, they can even pay a family member for the care they’re already providing. Rules vary by state, and the programs are difficult to navigate, but they exist and are worth exploring.

And then there’s the option that often gets overlooked until families are already at a breaking point: bringing in a professional Home Health Aide.

What a Home Health Aide Can Do — and What It Changes

A certified Home Health Aide doesn’t replace a family’s love or presence. But they do something that family caregivers desperately need: they share the load.

An HHA can help with bathing, dressing, meal preparation, mobility, medication reminders, light housekeeping, and companionship. They’re trained to notice changes in a client’s condition and report them to a healthcare team. They provide a second set of eyes, a steady presence, and the kind of focused, professional attention that a family member — who is also a full-time employee, parent, and human being — simply cannot always provide alone.

For many families, bringing in an HHA even a few days a week transforms the situation entirely. The primary family caregiver gets to sleep. Gets to go back to work without panic. Gets to be a daughter or a son again — not just a caregiver.

The Other Side of This Story

Here’s something worth sitting with: for every family caregiver who is exhausted and overwhelmed, there is a person who chose to become a Home Health Aide because they genuinely wanted to help carry that weight.

Many people who become HHAs do so because they were once the family caregiver. They know what it feels like. They know what matters. And they decided to turn that experience into something they could give to other families — professionally, reliably, and with real training behind it.

If you’ve been the person holding everything together for an aging parent — and you’ve thought about what it might mean to do this kind of work professionally — that instinct is worth paying attention to. The country needs more people like you, and becoming a certified Home Health Aide is one of the most direct ways to turn that experience into a real career.

The path is shorter than most people think. Training typically takes about four weeks. The competency exam is very passable with the right preparation. And the HHA Exam Secrets Study Guide was built specifically to help you walk in ready — with practice tests, expert review materials, and a pass guarantee.

A Crisis That Needs More Than Awareness

The American family caregiving crisis isn’t going to be solved by a single policy change or a news story. It will be eased — slowly, person by person — by more trained professionals entering the home health field, by more families learning what support is available to them, and by more honest conversations about what it actually takes to care for someone you love.

If you’re the one doing this work right now — inside your own family, without a paycheck, without a break, without anyone checking on you — this is for you: what you’re doing is real work. It is hard work. And you deserve support.

If you’re someone who has been thinking about becoming the professional who provides that support to other families, this is also for you.

👉 Learn how to become a certified Home Health Aide — and be the help that families need →